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Thursday, March 18, 2004

What is going on in my world....?!

What a week.....what a day!!I feel exhausted, while trying to cope with so many thing and so many people and different personalities.Where do my true self begin, well do my true self end.Feeling a little lost and confused.....Trying to please so many people at the same time is just too much stress.....Feeling that no matter what I do or how hard I try, people still judging and not satisfied...When would this madness end.....So many demands by people the truly care so little about me.......May be I should have let go, but how could I do that, when I am emotionally broke down?......I need a FOUNTAIN....a fountain where I can get my strength back.......How much I need to be in the Presence of God and let Him be GOD in my circumstances.I have always said that it is so easy for someone to be sweet when that someone has never gone through anything, YET, how much I truly value people that has gone through "hell on earth," yet, manage to not only to have a happy and content spirit, but also make a decision to stay sweet and have a compassionate heart....that really impresses me.Going through so much emotional changes...Wondering where this road will take me...Would I ever feel that I reached my true potential and my true destiny in life.......Is a conquest. A daily challenge...Would moving places would change anything at all?...That I know the answer.......that wouldn't help....I need to figure this thing here where I am...I need to walk face to face to the sun...Courage.......courage in the mist of confusion and despair....from where do my help comes? Oh, that my soul really knows so well...My Help will come from The Lord, God Almighty....Why am I putting my eyes in my surroundaings....am i a fool?...Knowing better, why i act so foolisness........what excuse would i bring when my concience begins questioning my own doing......If I want to change all this madness, i have to be real and true to myself and what i feel.....Don't let people put me in their own little boxes, in their own little narrow way of thinking.....I need to focus again....I need to organize my priorities.....Don't want again to begging mixing mortal for another wall to built.....I can do this.....I can take it.....With God by my side, I know I can.

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